


Top

by dottenator



Category: One Piece
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Misunderstandings, Other characters mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 12:19:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5828326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dottenator/pseuds/dottenator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During his time training with Rayleigh, Luffy learned a little bit more about how the world works, and he’s eager to assure his friends that he understands <i>exactly</i> what he’s talking about now.</p>
            </blockquote>





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**Author's Note:**

> For more information on the implied sexual content, please check the notes at the end for a (spoiler-filled) explanation.

Luffy grinned, waving enthusiastically at the Warlord’s ship as they sank beneath the waves. “See you later, Hammock! Thanks for the food!”  
Sanji didn’t know whether to smack his captain upside the head for being so rude to a beautiful woman, or hug him for thanking her because she was quite clearly pleased to hear it. He settled on a gentle tap to the back of the head with his shoe, which ended up sending Luffy skidding halfway across the deck. He resisted the urge to grin, since he was pretty sure that it was only partially because of how much stronger he’d gotten in the past two years. Luffy hadn’t been expecting it, that was all. Honestly, he was impressed by how much all of his friends had grown.  
  
Especially Nami and Robin. Lord above, they had grown.  
  
“Hey, Sanji, what was that for?”  
  
He snapped out of his lovestruck daze, wiping away the small stream of blood flowing out of his nose. “You weren’t polite enough to the Pirate Empress. A beautiful woman like her deserves all the respect in the world, even from the future Pirate King.”  
  
Luffy laughed, waving away Sanji’s perfectly reasonable complaint. “It’s fine, Sanji. Hammock and I are friends! You don’t need to be formal with friends, right?” There was a look on his face that, if Sanji didn’t know better, he might call wistful. “I really want to top her.”  
  
Sanji wasn’t sure what happened exactly, but the next thing he knew he was on his back and Chopper was hovering over him. To his delight, Nami was too, and he sighed in happiness even as more blood started to flow out of his nose. He knew how to get bloodstains out of clothes, but it was rather annoying to do with dress shirts.  
  
“Yeah, he’s fine.”  
  
Nami stood up and walked away, but before Sanji could call her back and apologize Chopper put a single hoof on his chest. Sanji was pretty sure he could overpower the reindeer, but the look in his eyes promised that he would regret it if he did.  
  
“Sanji, what happened? Luffy said the two of you were talking, and then you just passed out!”  
  
Sanji remembered what Luffy said about the Pirate Empress, and had to repress the urge to light up and kick his captain’s ass into next week. The whole crew knew that Luffy was more like a child than an adult in… certain areas, and if he’d gotten some kind of inappropriate ideas into his head then Sanji would just have to beat them right back out.  
  
“Luffy said… He said he wanted to…” Sanji couldn’t quite bring himself to repeat what his captain had said. It hurt him to even think about that, about the beautiful Boa Hancock doing… no, no, he had to stop thinking about that right now unless he wanted more blood on his shirt.  
  
Luffy, thankfully, seemed to realize what he was talking about. He even had the presence of mind to look ashamed. “Oh, that. I didn’t mean it like… well, like that. I just want to do it as friends, you know? It’s a thing friends can do, if they’re close enough. Like you and Zoro!” He laughed, running to the other side of the ship to pester Franky about his latest upgrades even as Sanji spontaneously caught fire. Chopper shrieked, jumping back, and Sanji was halfway to kicking his captain out into the middle of the ocean when a soft hand grabbed his arm. He stopped immediately, flames disappearing as he turned to smile at Robin. Beautiful Robin, with her hair even longer than it used to be, pushed away from her face with those stylish sunglasses. A few strands fell softly on her shoulders, accentuating her…  
  
When Sanji came to again, Chopper was sitting on his chest, looking absolutely furious. “What the hell was that, you bastard? You almost burned my arm, and if you keep bleeding out like that we’re going to run out of transfusions! Nobody on the crew is a viable donor, so you need to be more careful.”  
  
Sanji felt a little guilty for worrying Chopper, but as soon as he remembered why he had lit up in the first place he started to smolder again. Thankfully, before he could actually catch fire, Robin grabbed him again.  
  
“Cook, I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation with the captain earlier. Don’t you think you’re overreacting?”  
  
“Overreacting? I’m sorry, Robin my love, but if you heard what he said about the Empress then you’d agree with me.”  
  
“The Empress?” Robin brought a hand up to her mouth to hide a smile, and Sanji’s heart melted a little bit more at how wonderful she was. God, he had missed his friends. “And here I thought you were upset about what he said about you.”  
  
Sanji’s blood ran cold even as he flushed, and he tried his hardest to keep his voice down so the rest of the crew wouldn’t have to hear this. “You shouldn’t have heard that. It’s not true, I swear, I would never-”  
  
She interrupted him with a pinch to the cheek, and he couldn’t even be mad when she was that close. “I’m sorry, Cook. I thought you understood.”  
  
She explained. Sanji felt much better.  
  
\---  
  
“Hey, hey, Zoro!”  
  
There was no response from the crow’s nest, and Luffy’s face fell. Usopp frowned with him, wondering what had happened over the past two years to make their swordsman retreat into his training more than ever. He clapped a hand on his captain’s shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile. “I’m sure he’s just busy training. You remember how much he does that, right?”  
  
Luffy recovered quickly, which Usopp was grateful for. It was rare for his best friend to be genuinely upset, and whenever it happened bad things were sure to be close behind. No matter how much stronger he was now, he was not the kind of person who welcomed danger. Better to be at a safe distance, thank you very much.  
  
“Hey, who do you think would top? Me or Zoro?”  
  
Usopp choked on air. It took a full minute for him to recover, during which Luffy just looked at him with the same clueless expression as always. “What- What kind of question is that?”  
  
“Come on, Usopp! You know what I’m talking about, right? Rayleigh said I was the only one who didn’t know yet, and then he explained it, so I know everything now.” Usopp nodded weakly, and Luffy beamed. “Okay, so which one of us would top?”  
  
“Which one of who?”  
  
Usopp had never been happier to see Zoro in his life. This was more than a rescue from certain death, this was a rescue from the kind of embarrassment he would never recover from. Unfortunately, Luffy grabbed his arm, so he couldn’t make a hasty retreat as planned and hide away with his plants to pretend this conversation never happened.  
  
“Me or you, who would top?”  
  
Zoro grinned, and Usopp wished that there was some kind of way to erase memories so he would never have to remember any part of this.  
  
“Why don’t you come up here and find out?”  
  
Luffy beamed, and Usopp laid down on the deck and rethought his life. When Brook asked what he was doing there, he stood up, clapped him on his bony shoulder, and simply said “You don’t want to know.”  
  
Hours later, when Luffy and Zoro came out of the crow’s nest for food, they were both covered in sweat and grinning like loons. Usopp tried very hard not to think about why, and when that only made him think more about why he groaned and went to ask Chopper for something to help with headaches.  
  
\---  
  
“Hey, Jinbei?”  
  
He looked over to Luffy, ready to field yet another request for meat. “Yes, Luffy?”  
  
“If you and I did stuff, who would top?”  
  
Jinbei was relatively certain his heart stopped for a second there. He wasn’t exactly sure what happened when Rayleigh was training Luffy over the past two years, but he was just about ready to find the old man and give him a piece of his mind. “I’m sorry, Luffy, but I don’t want to, as you say, ‘do stuff’ with you.”  
  
Luffy nodded. “That’s fine. Rayleigh said that only some people will want to. Zoro did, though! We eventually decided that-”  
  
Jinbei cut him off, because as fond as he was of Luffy this was not something he ever wanted to think about. In fact, he never wanted to think about it _because_ he was fond of Luffy. “I don’t think that’s any of my business, Luffy.”  
  
“Oops! Right. My bad.”  
  
Jinbei wasn’t quite sure how to pick the conversation up from there. Honestly, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to, with the fear that Luffy might attempt to continue that topic. He shuddered at the mere thought of it, and excused himself to go see to urgent business. He wasn’t sure if there was anything left to do, honestly, but he was sure he could find something.  
  
\---  
  
Tashigi was pretty sure they were about to die. Seastone shackles, a deadly poison gas on its way, and she wasn’t even in her own body. On top of that, she was pretty sure that she was going to die of embarrassment before the gas reached them.  
  
“What did you just say, Straw Hat?”  
  
“I asked if you thought you could top me, because I think I could top you pretty easy.”  
  
From the sound of it, the cyborg was choking on air in the corner, and Demon Child Nico Robin was struggling to breathe. Even Warlord Trafalgar Law looked unsettled, though that might just have been his face.  
  
“Luffy, would this be before or after Traffy switches him back into his proper body?”  
  
Smoker was left speechless, whether with embarrassment or fury Tashigi couldn’t tell. From the look on her own face (and wasn’t that an experience) she thought it was fury. Trafalgar Law turned to look at Nico Robin, his face finally peeking out above his collar enough for Tashigi to tell that he was both highly flustered by the whole conversation and absolutely furious that he was being brought into it. Cyborg Franky started to cough violently, but sadly that wasn’t enough to convince Luffy to just drop the clearly inappropriate topic.  
  
“After, of course! I won’t do anything with Tashigi, that’s Zoro’s job.”  
  
Tashigi wasn’t actually sure what would have happened if they hadn’t all been chained up. There was a good chance she would spontaneously master Smoker’s devil fruit to throttle every single damn pirate in the area, and then break out to go hunt down Roronoa Zoro and let him know exactly what she thought of the whole business. Sadly, she couldn’t do either of those things, so she had to settle for giving everyone in attendance a piece of her mind.  
  
Unfortunately, as soon as she opened her mouth, Trafalgar cleared his throat. “In case you didn’t notice, Straw Hat-ya, we have more pressing matters to deal with that your advances on high-ranking Marines.”  
  
\---  
  
Smoker had hoped beyond belief that this ridiculous topic would never be brought up again, and yet here he was, suppressing a violent twitch as Straw Hat grinned at him across the mostly irrelevant line in the snow.  
  
“So, did you think about it?”  
  
“About what.”  
  
“Me topping you or you topping me.”  
  
Smoker resisted the urge to hang his head in his hands. It wouldn’t do to show weakness in front of a pirate. “I thought about it for less than a second, which was more than enough time to tell you that the answer is no. Nothing of that sort will be happening.”  
  
Straw Hat frowned, looked despondent actually, and Smoker twitched. “I thought we were friends though.”  
  
“You’re pirate scum. We’ll never be friends.” Somehow, the declaration was lacking heat, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to care at the moment.  
  
“Sure, whatever you say. See you later, Smokey! Think about it for next time we see each other!”  
  
With that, he was off, and once he was sure nobody was looking Smoker buried his head in his hands. He made a mental note to figure out the contact information for former Vice-Admiral Garp, because in light of the day’s events there were a few things he wanted to say to the man.  
  
\---  
  
Cavendish glared at his rival, brushing an unruly lock of hair back into place. As loathe as he was to admit it, he owed Luffy and his crew his life now, and if there was anything he could do to repay that he would make every effort. But did that really need to include _this_?  
  
“Please, Luffy, I’m sure you would.”  
  
“Come on, I saw you fighting! You’re really strong, and cool, and even if you topped I wouldn’t be too upset.”  
  
Rebecca blushed, and Cavendish resisted the urge to smash his face into the nearest solid object. He’d done that once, when confronted with the truly stupid, and it had messed with his carefully maintained curls something awful. Never again.  
  
“Luffy, please, you’ve done so much for me and my country. Even if I wanted to, I-”  
  
“Hey!” Luffy looked honestly offended, and Cavendish was half a second away from taking a nap and letting Hakuba take care of this whole awkward situation. “Don’t say stuff like that! I’d never want to top someone just because they felt like they owed me something. That’s not right, and it’s not fair either.”  
  
Thankfully, Luffy was distracted by the smell of food before the conversation could devolve further, and Cavendish wouldn’t need to explain to the others why he had murdered their savior and hero. Honestly, though, if any of them had had to sit through that, he was sure they’d do the same.  
  
\---  
  
“Hey, Traffy! How long until we get there?”  
  
Bartolomeo watched from afar as his idol went to once again bother the annoying moody captain of the Heart Pirates instead of having a comfortable and delightful conversation with him. He couldn’t hold it against Luffy, of course, since the two of them were in a proper alliance and he was nothing but a lowly underling. That didn’t mean it didn’t rankle, though.  
  
“It shouldn’t be more than a few days, Luffy-ya.”  
  
“So we haven’t gotten faster since yesterday?”  
  
“No. We haven’t.”  
  
Trafalgar was visibly twitching, and Bartolomeo debated internally whether or not it would be worth it to go and interrupt them. Probably not, since Luffy seemed pretty intent on befriending his ally and might be upset if their bonding time was disrupted.  
  
“Hey, Traffy?”  
  
“What.”  
  
“I’ve been thinking, and… Would you top me?”  
  
Bartolomeo was pretty sure his heart stopped for a second, and from the look on Trafalgar’s face, his did too.  
  
“Wh- what?”  
  
“Would you top me? I mean, we’re pretty close, and we’re allies and stuff, so I don’t want things between us to get complicated, but I can’t stop thinking about it. If you don’t want to, that’s fine too, but, you know, I think it could be fun.”  
  
Bartolomeo took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. Luffy made his feelings quite clear, and as his friend and subordinate it was Bartolomeo’s duty to make sure that his idol was happy. If that meant accepting Trafalgar as Luffy’s partner as well as his ally, then so be it.  
  
“Luffy-ya, I…”  
  
He shouldn’t have listened as long as he did. Bartolomeo slipped away to his room, giving a smile and nod to Robin and Franky on the way. It looked like Franky was supporting Robin, and if he hadn’t been so emotional over Luffy’s honesty and bravery in matters of the heart he would have stopped and asked her what was wrong. As it was, he made a mental note to ask the ship’s doctor to check up on her if she wasn’t feeling better by dinner time.  
  
\---  
  
Zoro stretched, yawning for good measure as he glanced around the deck of the Going Luffy. It still took a large amount of willpower not to start laughing whenever he saw the figurehead, and it was only harder when Luffy himself decided to start sitting on it like he did with his ‘special spot’ on the Sunny. Thinking of his captain, he looked around until he spotted him chatting with Kin'emon. He relaxed a little, settling back to nap a bit more before they reached Zou, but when he heard his name he decided that it might be better to figure out what they were saying.  
  
“Is something wrong with Roronoa? He’s seemed off for a while.”  
  
“Nah, Zoro’s fine. He’s just a little upset ‘cause we haven’t heard from the rest of the crew.”  
  
“I can sympathize with that, to an extent. I had barely reunited with my son before we were separated again, and I find myself worrying about him rather frequently.”  
  
Before Zoro could say anything, Luffy laughed. “Zoro’s not _worried_. Everyone on my crew is really strong, and they can all take care of themselves just fine. And you know Nami and Chopper won’t let anything happen to Momo, so you don’t need to be worried either.”  
  
Zoro smirked, settling back into his comfortable spot. After a minute or two of silence, almost enough for him to get back to napping, Kin’emon spoke up again.  
  
“If Roronoa isn’t worried about your friends, why is he upset?”  
  
“Oh, he just misses topping Sanji.”  
  
Zoro was honestly lucky to have a captain that understood him so well. From what he’d heard from Johnny and Yosaku back in his bounty hunter days, there were people out there who would disapprove of the kind of relationship he and Sanji had. He didn’t think it was an exaggeration to say that there a less lenient captain might even have kicked both of them off the crew for it, and he was pleased with himself for having had the sense to at least defect to piracy for a captain who would accept his crew’s deviations from the norm.  
  
If he was honest, which he tried to be, Zoro would admit that he did miss topping Sanji. Sanji topping him, not so much, but really it was the act itself and not the specifics that made it enjoyable. Once the business on Zou was cleared up, he was going to pull Sanji away from the frankly inevitable feast to have a little fun where they wouldn’t be interrupted.  
  
\---  
  
Luffy literally bounced along, and Law resisted the urge to slam his head into the nearest tree. If he did that every time his stupid ally did something ridiculous, he’d have a concussion in less than an hour, so for the moment his lamentations would be reserved to exasperated sighs and pointed glares. He had mostly been tuning Luffy out, but when a certain phrase popped up he had to stop walking so he could focus all of his energy on remaining calm.  
  
“Luffy-ya, could you repeat that?”  
  
“Elephant skin is really weird to walk on.”  
  
“No, the part before that.”  
  
“Oh. I said that I really wish Sabo had been able to stick around longer, because I want to know if he’d still top me.”  
  
There it was again. Law took a deep breath, trying to think about the situation logically. Unfortunately, there was no logical conclusion to come to, so he had to risk actually asking Luffy. “What do you mean still? Why did your _brother_ ever top you?”  
  
Luffy looked at him like he’d grown an extra head. “He’s older than me, of course he topped. I didn’t have a chance to ask him for another go now that I’m older, though.”  
  
Law began to revise his opinion of the Revolutionary Army’s Chief of Staff. “Are you saying that when you were children, Sabo…”  
  
To his horror, Luffy _beamed_. “Yeah! Ace, too. i was never good enough to top either of them, but they topped each other a lot.”  
  
Law was starting to see a need to change his opinion on Luffy’s entire family. “Luffy-ya, that’s not normal. I know they were your brothers, but that doesn’t excuse them taking advantage of you like that. You were too young to know what was going on, and-”  
  
“What are you talking about? I knew exactly what was going on. I was just never good enough to win.”  
  
Something about Luffy’s confusion, when combined with the odd wording, made Law pause. He looked at him, phrasing the next question very carefully. “Luffy, what exactly do you mean by _top_?”  
  
Luffy giggled. “Sex, duh.”  
  
Law remembered the disaster which was Punk Hazard, and the awkward conversation they’d had on the Going Luffy. He closed his eyes, unable to look at Luffy during this discussion. “And what do you think sex is?”  
  
“It’s a special kind of fight with someone you really really like.”  
  
His answer wasn’t quite unexpected, but it was still enough of a shock that a laugh slipped out of Law. Before he knew it, he was cackling, and Luffy was practically vibrating next to him in concern.  
  
“Traffy, are you okay? Do we need to find a doctor? Oh, wait, you are a doctor, right. Do you need another doctor? Should I go find Chopper?”  
  
Law waved him off as the laughter subsided. When he could breathe enough to speak, he composed himself, though he still had to lean on his sword a little for support. “I’m fine, Luffy-ya. I just wasn’t expecting that, is all.”  
  
“What, was I wrong?”  
  
Law didn’t have the heart to ruin Luffy’s naive innocence, nor did he have the patience required to explain this kind of thing to him. “No, Luffy. You just had a very unusual childhood, that’s all. You probably shouldn’t mention sex when talking about it, or people might get the wrong idea.”  
  
Luffy took his word at face value, and gave him a dazzling smile before bouncing off towards the forest again, chattering about how excited he was to eat the wonderful feast Sanji was going to cook for him. Law let out a shaky breath, his conscience just a little lighter now that he knew his ally wasn’t the kind of person promiscuous enough to attempt to seduce a Vice-Admiral. He now had to be concerned that Luffy was apparently _fond_ of Smoker, but that was a topic for another day. For now, they had a giant elephant to explore, and he had a crew to apologize to.  
  
\---  
  
_“Well, Luffy, you see, when two people like each other very much-”_  
  
_“Like best friends?”_  
  
_Rayleigh sighed, dragging his hand across his face. He was too old for this shit. He had_ been _too old for this shit when he made Crocus explain things to Shanks and Buggy all those years ago. “Yes, Luffy, like best friends. When two people like each other that much, sometimes they want to do something that shows how much they like each other.”_  
  
_“Oh! Oh! Is it meat?” Rayleigh could only stare at his charge. He was_ far _too old for this._  
  
_“It’s not meat.” Luffy’s face visibly fell, and Rayleigh bit the bullet. “Luffy, do you know what a penis is?” Luffy shook his head. Rayleigh buried his face in his hands and vowed to make Garp pay for this somehow. He wasn’t sure how, but he knew this was his fault. “Okay, let’s start from the top. Some people have a thing between their legs that sticks out of their body, called a penis. Other people have a hole there, called a vagina.”_  
  
_“Oh, that? I know that. It’s why Nami and Robin have boobs and I don’t.”_  
  
_Rayleigh couldn’t help but be relieved that at least he knew the basics of anatomy. “Well, when two people like each other very much, they... “ He took a deep breath, but found that he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Slot A in Tab B, easy as that, but he couldn’t just say that to Luffy! Sure, the kid was almost legally of age, but even after his brother’s death something about Luffy was incredibly innocent._  
  
_“Wait, is this like kissing?”_  
  
_Rayleigh sighed, glad that they were finally on the right track. “In a way, yes.”_  
  
_“Okay. Because Ace…” He paused, smile faltering as he remembered that his brother wasn’t there, but brightened up faster than he had the last time. He was recovering, however slowly, and Rayleigh was pleased to see it. “Ace and Sabo told me about kissing, when we were kids. They said that sometimes people fight with their tongues, and whoever gets their tongue further down the other person’s throat wins. Sabo said he always won when he did it, but then Ace hit him and said he was lying and had never kissed anyone.”_  
  
_Rayleigh laughed. He would never get tired of Luffy’s wild stories about Roger’s son, no matter how unorthodox of a childhood they revealed. “In that case, yes, it’s very close to kissing. But with this, you fight with the things between your legs, not your tongue.”_  
  
_“Okay. How do you know who wins?”_  
  
_“Well, most people would say that all you have to do to win is participate, but if you want to think of it like a fight… I’d say that the winner is the one who manages to last longer on top.”_  
  
_“So, the winner is on top?”_  
  
_“In general, yes.”_  
  
_“What about…” Luffy looked nervous again, and Rayleigh steeled himself for a difficult question. “What about if someone doesn’t want to do anything between their legs? Can they still…”_  
  
_Rayleigh ruffled his hair, knocking off a leaf which had settled there. “If you don’t want to use the stuff between your legs, you don’t have to. If someone tries to make you do something you don’t want to, beat the shit out of them. Now please, can we get back to training?”_  
  
_He was_ way _too old for this._

**Author's Note:**

> The first non-character tag is 'misunderstandings' for a reason. Luffy does not understand how the world works at all, and is calling things sex which aren't actually sex. No actual sex takes place between anyone, underage or otherwise. However, there is a portion in the final section of the story where Luffy discusses having sex as a child. _He did not have sex with anyone._ Please remain safe when reading.
> 
> In case of confusion, I want to clarify: Robin, Zoro, and Rebecca understood exactly what Luffy was talking about, because they're just awesome like that. Zoro was thinking of it in the same terms as Luffy when his and Sanji's relationship came up, and Robin was just having the time of her life letting everyone else be confused. When it became clear that Sanji was about to beat the shit out of Luffy, though, she stopped giggling long enough to make sure Luffy wouldn't get attacked for no reason. Rebecca is _very lucky_ that Kyros wasn't around to overhear that conversation.


End file.
